How we respond to angry criticism and ridicule is an important and valuable communication tool. Most of us have been in a public situation where people have taken shots at us either in person, or increasingly, online. It can be in a town hall meeting on health care where a member of Congress is not only questioned and challenged, but is screamed at by an irate and angry tax payer.

You might be a manager who is announcing a new policy or procedure that is especially unpopular with employees. You could be asking them to work longer hours for less pay or taking away health or pension benefits.

Or, consider Secretary of State Hillary Clinton who recently believed she was being asked a question about what her husband thought about a sensitive international issue and as a result angrily responded; "My husband is not Secretary of State, I am. You want me to tell you what my husband thinks? If you want my opinion, I will tell you my opinion…I am not going to be channeling my husband."

Emotions run high in these situations and as a communicator-in-chief, there are a variety of tips and tools that are useful but in no way foolproof. Public communication is not a science. At best, it is a craft or a complex art form. With this in mind, consider some of the best ways to handle biting and nasty criticism as well as challenging questions:

--Never raise your voice no matter how much someone yells at you in a public forum. Leaders can't out yell or scream an audience member. It just looks bad. Any time you come across as out of control, you look weak. It's fine to be passionate, and even allow your emotions to show, but screaming and yelling never works when you are in charge.

--Don't try to talk over or consistently interrupt an irate audience member because you think it will stop him. In fact, the opposite is true. You will just fuel him even more and ratchet up the tension. Let the other person finish. Take a beat or two and then ask; "Mr. Smith, I just want to make sure you are finished before I respond…" By doing this, Mr. Smith will be forced to acknowledge that he finished and that it is your turn to speak.

--Don't hold a meeting or forum regardless of the issue unless you have developed a clear, concise and compelling message as well as the three or four most difficult questions you are likely to be asked. Practice before objective observers communicating your message as well as responding to those tough questions or charges. Make sure you do this in 30 seconds or less. In fact, your goal should be 20 seconds.

--Finally, you don't actually have to respond to every attack. Sometimes, you can simply say, "Everyone has a right to his or her opinion and I respect yours even though I see it differently. It doesn't make either one of us right or wrong. I guess we will just have to agree to disagree…" The key is to do this in a calm and controlled fashion. The funny thing about people who scream and yell in public meetings—sooner or later they get tired. It's hard work. Your job is not to fuel them but rather to let them have their say, but ask everyone to listen to each other and be respectful. What's most important is that you take the lead in communicating in this fashion. Doing so will not guarantee the outcome, but it increases your odds considerably that you won't become another communication casualty.